I told the girls about it on Friday and they've been nervously excited all weekend. This morning they came downstairs dressed and ready to go, and the excitement was gone and it was all nerves.
They weren't happy that they didn't get to be in a class together (they are grouped by their last grade completed) and were so nervous that I didn't know more information about it. (Would they get to play the whole time? Would they know anyone there? Are there snacks? Are you sure we can't be together? Why can't we just stay together?)
We got them registered and to their assigned classes, and boy oh boy is it hard to drop them off and just walk away. I always just want to sit in the back and watch and make sure everyone is ok. We left Chloe first and her teacher just whisked her away and I didn't get to give her a hug or a final pep talk on how she would have fun, it would be over soon and not to worry.
Preslie's drop off was a tiny bit better. We found their class and they were all singing songs about God and doing hand motions. I told her it was just like singing time and it would be so fun. Her teacher introduced her to another little girl and we left.
Maybe the pep talk is something I need more than them, because it's so hard to know if you're doing the right thing! I kept thinking, "I should've lied and said they were in the same grade so they could be together... What if they're not ok and sad the whole time?... What if someone is mean and they don't tell the teacher to get help?"
Being a parent is hard, and I second guess myself on my decisions every. single. day. I keep thinking surely this whole parenting thing is going to get easier soon, right? But it keeps getting harder instead.
Walking away from them today I kept reminding myself this is the whole point of being a parent. Situations that cause you and your child to grow. Situations that stretch you and make you uncomfortable. Learning and taking risks - even when those risks are just going without your sister. That's a big risk for them.
I feel like it's the first day of school all over again! I can't wait until the end of the week when we're all a little bit more confident, stretched and brave.