That Dreaded Number

I know there are some of you out there that read my blog that are over thirty. I, in no way, think of you as "old." I don't want you to be offended by this post, because obviously, to me, you're not old and I don't think of you as old. Unless, of course, you really are old, and in that case, it's not me being judgmental, it's just a fact. And you can't argue with fact.

With that said, I don't want to turn 30. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I just can't handle it. I think I even told Cody the other day, "I'd rather die than turn 30."

Dramatic?

Yes.

True?

No. (Not to get all technical about how dying really would be wonderful and on and on. Because then it would be true. But no, I don't want to die. Stop freaking out.)

I don't know why I feel like 30 is old, and I know people say that as you get older you can't believe that when you were 16 you felt like 25 was so old, or when you turn 30 you realize 50 isn't old...But I'm 24 and almost 1/2, and to me, 30 is old.

The 30-year-olds that I know don't seem old. While they're talking I don't look at them and pretend to be paying attention while I'm really thinking, "You're 30, you're 30, you're 30..." But for some reason, I just can't handle it.

I was out visiting teaching yesterday and in talking to my companion I learned she is 29. I always thought she was my same age. But she's not. She's 29. She's about to take the plunge. And I felt a little bit sorry for her. Ok, a lot sorry. Just because soon she'll have to say, I'm 30.

I want to lay my head down on my desk in defeat....And honestly, I wrote that because I just did. I feel like Rachel did on Friends in the episode about her 30th birthday. Remember? How sad she was? Except I'm feeling that way 5 1/2 years too early.

I just can't turn 30. I can't. I don't want to. When I'm that dreaded age, Chloe will be 9. Preslie will be 8. I got married when I was 19...Chloe could too, I guess....That means I could be planning a wedding for my daughter when I'm 40.

Oh, I can't handle it. Be still my heart.

I don't want anyone to think I'd give up what good things, and bad things, will come in the future, because I wouldn't. I would never give up my girls, or my husband, or any of the things we have gone through together. So I can't say I want to be 18 forever or 20 forever, because then I wouldn't have some of those things. I don't hate life. I honestly, am a very happy person. I just don't want to be 30. Even when I turn _ _...can we just say I'm still 24 1/2? Maybe I'll rethink things when I'm 31.

Maybe.

Addicted

Last night Cody and I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Don't watch it. It'll waste your life.

But it was cute, I guess, and there wasn't anything dirty or any bad bad words. And regular bad words were very sparse.

Anyway. The girl is addicted to shopping. Obviously.

And it made me want to go shopping. Really, really badly. I started thinking about all the little shops in Rexburg that I loved but never would shop at (because we had no money), and the whole time when I lived there, I'd think, "Someday, when we have more money, I'll be able to shop and have all the things I could want."

Yeah. About that.

Now we live in Southern California, where clothing shops are not necessarily cheap (I haven't found any at least..I'm talking boutique-type places here), but are ALL over the place. And I find myself wishing to take a trip back to the Burg.

Shopping, at least, clothes shopping for myself, isn't really happening because if I actually try to look at anything, and slow the cart down to browse, Preslie starts the back-arching, mild screaming, which escalates to her fully standing up in the front of the cart, screaming her head off. She hasn't fallen out, yet. Luckily.

I also have a problem with shopping because of the fact that if I do have the luck to find something in between screaming children and dropped fruit snacks, I can't ever try anything on because a cart/stroller doesn't fit in a dressing room and I
1.Don't want to leave my babies out in the dressing room hallway to get kidnapped while I decide if I look cute in some outfit while the horrible lighting is making me doubt myself, my clothing, my hair, my makeup and basically my entire existence...
And 2. I dont' want to get dressed with my babies out in the dressing room hallway and leave the door open, allowing fellow shoppers to also question and doubt me. And probably laugh and point and run away screaming.

And a third reason I can't go shopping, is because I can't spend money. When I turned 19, I found this sweater. It was so cute. I wanted it so badly, but it was $15. And I was living on my own, working and trying to save money and $15 was SO MUCH MONEY. Honestly, it still is. Yeah, I can afford a $15 sweater now, but I haven't gotten over my mindset of that being a ton of money. Also, that night (when I was 19 and didn't buy the sweater that I have thought about a lot since then and definitely should've bought), I got booted at my friend, Polly's apartment. I was there after midnight and she said it would be fine and no one ever got booted. I did. I called the guy and when he got there to un-boot me I was crying and crying and Polly and her roommates were all down in the parking lot with me and we told him it was my birthday and Polly shouted, "She didn't even buy the sweater!" But I had to pay the $50 anyway. Good thing I didn't buy the sweater I guess. Happy birthday to me.

Anyway. The whole point of this is not to feel sorry for me, because I do that enough for myself. Just kidding. But seriously.

I still have problems with spending money on myself. Honestly, $15 is a lot of money in my mind. Well, it is when I want to use it on myself. But when Cody wants something or the girls need something that is more on the expensive side, I have no problems getting it for them!

So maybe in a way I'm hoping Cody will read this and think, "Yeah, my wife is pretty awesome. Maybe I'll buy her ever pair of shoes she wants."

And in that hope, here they are. (PS These are not the ONLY shoes I want. These are only from 2 websites. I just didn't have time for more. You're welcome.) And if you have an extra money you'd like to donate to the "Buy Shoes and Clothes for Stacey Fund," Please feel free to donate it to the people in Japan who have been devastated by the tsunami and earthquake. (Not joking) But if there's extra after that, feel free to send it my way :)

found here

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Also, I couldn't copy the pictures from the sites, but I really wanted these and these

They're all under $50 because I can't handle window shopping for things that I really wouldn't ever buy. So enjoy, partake, but please don't buy them for yourself and tell me. Cause I'll be pretty dang jealous.

Lets Go Fly a Kite!

Last Friday was our 5th Engagement Anniversary.

I like celebrating. So we celebrate things that don't really matter or exist and most people forget about. I don't forget dates. (For example. My first kiss was Dec 12, 1999. Why do I know this date? I have NO idea. But I will probably never forget it. Also, don't judge on the date. Yeah, I was 12. Moving on.)

So, on March 11, I told Cody we needed to do something fun and new and exciting to celebrate. It also needed to be kid friendly since we didn't really want to get a babysitter. I first thought bowling would be fun, but we decided it'd be too stressful with Preslie running all around. So instead, we got a kite!

We didn't really think it was going to work since there was no wind. Look at that flag. It didn't move once.

Chloe was very involved in putting the flag together

It was pretty funny at first, trying to explain to Chloe how to fly a kite. Cody gave her the string and said, Ok, now run! So she threw the string on the ground and started running away. Kids are so funny!

This was right after she dropped the kite and started running. She was so confused why we were laughing so hard!

LOVE this picture!

Chloe LOVED flying the kite and asks almost every day if she can go fly her kite with daddy again. 

After we decided the wind wasn't going to pick up, we went to the playground to play. This is one of the best playgrounds around here. We love it SO much! It's pretty big and there's a lot of things to play on so even when there are a lot of kids everyone is spread out pretty good.

After kite flying and playground playing, we went back to our roots with some Taco Bell. Unfortunately, there were a bunch of loud and super stinky (they were all smoking) teenagers there. When I walked in, one of them even asked me if I wanted a cigarette. When I said no, thank you, he asked, "Does the baby want one?" I didn't say anything, but I wanted to kick him.

Cody tried to get Chloe to eat it. She isn't a huge fan. He even said, "I never thought I'd have to make my kids eat Taco Bell."

Preslie liked her burrito!!

After Taco Bell we went home and had some ice cream! (well, the girls did. Cody and I passed on that part)

They definitely loved it!!!

It was such a fun night!

Pretty Lucky Afterall

I saw a super cute idea for St. Patrick Day shirts here. I decided to try it out. I thought Preslie and Chloe would be adorable in their matching shirts for St. Patrick's Day!

Yesterday I went to Michael's and bought this.

Yeah, there's a link there. But don't buy it.
I got all my stuff ready, ironed the freezer paper on the shirt, opened my glue, and nothing. It wouldn't come out. When it did come out, it was hard by the time it touched the fabric. Yeah, it says easy flow. It also says it works on fabric. In fact, that's the first medium it says to use it on! Well, don't. It started to come out a little bit more, so I started squeezing. Super hard. I bent the tube in half and squeezed. And then the bottom blew out. ALL over my shirt. I tried using a paintbrush to move the glue around, but it was hard on the shirt. It stuck to my paintbrush more than the shirt. It was a mess. I was so sad and told Cody I was about to start crying because I had just ruined everything.

He's concentrating. Super hard.

 

Cody got down with me and started helping me. It took awhile, but he finally got the glue spread out enough to cover the whole thing.

Dumping the glue out of the bottom instead of using it through the top

Even more spreading. That glue really is ridiculous. Don't ever get it.

Finished product!!!!

So yeah, maybe it is a little wonky, but that was because the image I used was a little wonky. It didn't look weird when I printed it of...but it does when it's giant in glitter. Oh well. Chloe won't know the difference.

Thank you, Cody for all your help! You are a wonderful husband!!!

Growing Up

Remember these?

Well that dress has now been passed on. Cody took these pictures of Preslie last Sunday.

She still sticks her tongue out!!

Love that dress and headband! 

And Yes, we did take pictures of Chloe, too.

2 Going on 20

Ok, maybe not 20...But definitely 16. 

This morning during Preslie's nap, I asked Chloe if we should curl her hair. When we were done I asked if she wanted to do makeup. What girl would say no?

Her pretty princess hair

I  kind of can't stop looking at her. Like this little girl has become a young woman within minutes and I don't know what happened. I know it will all wash off tonight and she will once again be my little baby (even though she tells me I can't call her that anymore because she's a "Big Girl."), but it's weird looking into the future like this. Of course, as soon as she opens her mouth and says, "Sum mo fut nacks, pease!" I remember. She is my little girl and will always be my baby!!! No amount of makeup will change that! 

ps I know this is a bad picture with the lighting and the big shadow...But look at those eyes! What a pretty girl!