Sunday, November 6, 2011

5 Years, Almost.

This Tuesday will mark the 5th anniversary of my sister and her husband's death.

I've learned so much these past 5 years from what happened to them, but sometimes, it just really sucks.

Sometimes, most of the time, I just really miss her. I miss them. I miss how much they loved me and Cody. I hate that I didn't realize that for so long.

It just sucks.

It seems like basically everyone I know right now is pregnant, so I was looking at baby names recently, trying to pick names for my family and friend's kids. :) I looked up Steve and Catheryn and do you know what they mean?

Catheryn means "Pure." Steve means "The Crowned."

I don't know why I think that is so awesome, but I do. What better meanings could you have?

I just watched the music video of Hilary Week's song, Beautiful Heartbreak. It was a beautiful song with a beautiful meaning. We all have trials. We all have to go through them. We should try to come out from the trials having learned something, and having turned it into a beautiful heartbreak instead of wishing it away.

Sometimes I still want to wish it away. Right now is one of those times.

And then I remember how loving our Savior is. How could I wish away anything He has done? Because of their death, I am so much closer to Him now. I guess that's the beginning of the beautiful part of it.

And just because...(This is my brother, Dan - not Steve, Catheryn's husband)

I miss you, guys. A lot.


The Story of us said...

Beautiful song.

I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm so glad I know you and I know that experience helped make you who you are today- a really strong and sweet girl:-)

Last week was fun!

Beema said...

That was so nicely done Susie. I am so sad that you and Amy don't have Catheryn to be here with you - but I am glad that you have 3 other sisters-in-law who can be your friends too. Life is just plain hard. :(

Jamie said...

I am thankful to have met you, Stacey. You are the only person I know other than myself who knows the pain of losing a sister all too well. It is kind of interesting, too, to see your point of view because you are the younger sister who lost your older sis. It makes me wonder how my sister might have reacted if it were me instead. I can tell you that if it were the other way around, and Cathryn lost you, her baby sister, it would be just as hard. Big sisters need their little sisters, too. :)

Lani said...

I love what their names mean. I thank the Lord God brought Catheryn into Steven's life. He was great before, but her love made him even greater. Their love made me better too. What a great reunion we will all have some day.


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