warning: you might get sick reading this, because it is pretty lovey-dovey. But, I don't care. I like it that way.
I've been thinking about this one a lot lately...Well, at least since I first saw this challenge. And I thought about taking it in a different way, like how much I love chocolate or something...But no. I'm facing it head on.
I was a pretty flirty girl growing up. I had a lot of guy friends and don't feel like I was lacking in the dating department. But my attitude towards all my boyfriends growing up was, "I know we would never get married. So I am not getting too close to you."
I kept that attitude up for a long time. When I was 16 I was dating this boy, Spencer, and we liked each other for a lonnnnnnnng time before we started "going out." But after awhile, he told me I was working too much (I did work a lot in high school...but I LOVED my job) and I had to pick between him and my job. I was like seriously? I'm 16. I have an amazing job, working with people that I love (That included Spencer. Yeah, we also worked together...So I still didn't understand the problem), and I definitely don't see us being together forever. So, see ya.
The first boy I thought I ever loved was Thomas. I know, no big surprise to anyone. We met when I was 5 in my primary class. He and another boy called me Stacey Sprinkler and apparently I got really mad and wouldn't talk to them. We were always in the same stake and were kinda friends but didn't ever really cross paths again until I was like 14 and we were going to the stake dances. We were in the same group of friends (he really didn't like Spencer), and we knew everything about each other. We would play games like Taboo or Outburst with our friends and we'd always be on the same team because we could finish each others sentences so we'd always win. One night I had a really bad night at work and I called him on my drive home. We talked ALL night long. Honestly. It was like 7 hours and 45 minutes or something. My cell phone ran out of battery twice. I had to use our house phone while it charged up again. Yeah, I got in trouble for that. He was my best friend. I totally thought I loved him, and I think I probably did. He was moving out to Utah to go to school (he was a year ahead of me) and I was thinking about moving to Utah to finish high school. One of my friends threw him a going away party and when I got there we just went in a car to talk about me going out there, too. He told me, "Stacey, if you move to Utah, you'll get married when I'm on my mission." I told him, no, I would only be a sophomore in college when he got back and I'd never be married by then. I told him I really wanted to go and I had basically made up my mind and he couldn't change it. I was going whether he liked it or not. Then I moved to Utah. Ten minutes away from each other and we never spoke anymore. I don't think there are any hard feelings there. Definitely none for me. It just wasn't really love. You know?
In Utah I made a lot more guy friends, went on a lot of dates, and three days after I graduated high school, I met Cody.
Cody came into my life really fast. Really, really unexpected, at a time that I was "living it up." (Remember, Amy Jo??) :) But it was absolutely perfect. He healed parts of me that were broken, and would've remained broken forever if he hadn't said something. He drove across two towns to come kill spiders at my house. He was with me for a short time, at a time when I was trying SO hard to not fall in love with him. He was moving back to California in 3 months after we met. Hi, 3 months. But I couldn't help it. One night we were taking a walk and these sprinklers started going off. We started running around in them and I was running in circles and he just kept turning the sprinkler so it was hitting me non stop. I wanted to be with Cody all day, every day. When he moved away, I drove to Alyssa's house, knocked on the door, and cried. And cried, and cried. When she opened it, she just held me while I cried and cried. My dad even called me that night just because he knew I was going to be so sad and he was worried about me. Sweet, huh. I didn't know what was going to happen between us, but I knew I loved him. For real love. In October, two months after he moved away, I went to visit him in California. One night I dropped a bomb. I asked him what he thought was going to happen between us. He said he didn't want to say because who knows what would happen? I told him I knew the future was unexpected. I just wanted to know what he wanted to happen between us. He looked at me and told me he wanted to be with me. He wanted to be with me forever. So sweet, right? I told Alyssa all about it when I came home and told her how I loved how he said he wanted to be with me forever. Not just, "I want to marry you." Because being together forever is different than just being married.